EF 18# Between Kindness and Firmness

One complicated relationship is when we have to firm with a person who has given kindness to us. Sometimes we don’t have the heart to express what we feel because of his or her kindness before.

One example happened in my family. We’ve a good neighbour who often help us when we’re in trouble. One time, my wife looked there was a snake behind our house. She screamed and got out from the house. One man who was working at workshop in front of our house heared my wife’s sound. Then he went into the house and killed the snake. His father owned the workshop and our family has a good relationship with them.

Every Idul Fitri, we always come to their house and they treat us well. We often asked for stay longer and they provided breakfast with special food, like fried liver sauce, ketupat and chicken curry.

We also came to their house when we got sick, because one of that family is a massage theraphist. He would massage our legs with special oil and then we felt better. Our child also ever got a massage when his arm sprained. We respected him because each treatment was done, he never asked for wage. When we knew that he didn’t receive money for his massage therapist, then we decided to bring fruits or cakes to substitute his wage.

Our relationship changed when my wife complained because of the sound of a noisy workshop. When our children studied in the evening, they couldn’t focus on their subject because the workshop still active. My wife then sent SMS to the mother and explained that tomorrow the children would get examination. They disturbed with the noise came from the workshop.

Afterword, in the morning she came to our house and her family apologized for the noise from their workshop. My wife explained that she didn’t prohibit their family working but the working time should be limited.

Several days latter, the attitude of that family changed. The mother didn’t smile kindly again when she met my wife. When my wife met her in regular social gathering (arisan), she wouldn’t start to talk. My wife than asked for my suggestion to overcame this problem. I said,”Kept a good attitude with her and didn’t change”.

“Should I come to their son’s wedding?” asked my wife by phone
“Yes, you should come because they invited”I said
“What if they don’t accept us?”
“You keep calm and don’t be angry”I answered

In the wedding party, my wife accompaned by our second daughter then walked to the stage to greet the bride and their family.

It was not easy to act like that because I ever faced it before. My wife explained that after attended that party, walked to the stage and shaked their hands, she felt like escape from the heavy burden.

Thank you my dearest wife, you have passed from the life exam.

7 pemikiran pada “EF 18# Between Kindness and Firmness

  1. Ah. It really hard mas dealing with that kind of situation. I mean in same time you have to build relationship with neighbor. But if they didn’t welcome you, usually we just do the same thing. Thank you for the lesson mas.

    1. Yes, for the first time my wife hard to begin conversation. Even just to say “hello” or “how are you”. I explained my experience, you had to start and don’t care about her response. If you start to do conversation, at least you show that you had no problem with her and let people saw and knew.

  2. I can imagine and relate to the situation you told us Pak. That must be very hard to keep the good attitude towards them, but hey, that is the key! 😀

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